Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 2 April 2014

image for Justin Bieber Proudly States That Vladimir Putin Has Offered Him Asylum
Justin said that he has never visited Russia. (Photo courtesy of Maksim Chmerkovskiy).

DETROIT - Justin Bieber performed before a less than sold out crowd at The Carburetor Coliseum in MoTown.

After the concert he spoke backstage with Calcutta Cotton of Music Moments Magazine.

Miss Cotton asked him if he still feared that he could be deported back to his mother country Canada.

Bieber replied, "Is the Sahara Desert sandy?" "Is Charles Barkley a fat slob?" and "Does Ricky Gervais drink beer?"

Cotton said she'd take that as a yes. She then asked him if he had spoken to President Obama recently. He responded by telling her that he has called the president a total of 27 times but he has not returned his calls.

Bieber then smiled and told Calcutta that he did receive a wonderful email yesterday from Russian President Vladimir Putin.

The Russian leader told him that he can imagine how lonely he must be feeling and how he must think that everyone is against him.

Putin told Justin that he felt sorry for him and he offered to grant him asylum if he decided to leave the USA and move to Russia.

President Putin said that he had talked at length with his Director of Computers Edward Snowden and he said that Justin Bieber is basically a good kid with about 15 cents worth of common sense.

In Other News. Weather reports say that a 7.2 magnitude earthquake hit in the middle of the Pacific Ocean which will probably end up traumatizing over 13 million different types of fish.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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