Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 30 March 2014

image for 'A Zimmer frame sequel?' Kelly McGillis demands amid reports Tom Cruise will star in Top Gun 2
Take My Breath Away

New York - "Sure I've turned down the role of Charlie Blackwood," Ms McGillis told New York Toast reporters today, "still recovering from a dose of intimate hives after Cruise's last clinch 30 years ago."

The 1986 box orifice smash-hit raked in a massive $354m making it the highest grossing movie of the year.

And propelled Hollywood actor Tom Cruise into glittering Tinseltown stardom - as well as years of ruinously expensive cosmetic dentistry.

Now it's set for a brand new follow-up if the Mission Unflossable actor gets his way and raises the necessary studio finance estimated at a minimum of $250m.

In the original 1986 movie 5ft 11in McGillis played Top Gun instructor Charlie Blackwood to Cruise's 5ft 6in Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell, towering over him in all but the bedroom scenes.

Critics eventually panned the couple's romantic performance accusing McGillis of emitting a disturbing froideur during the pair's on-screen coupling.

"Yeah, eating onion and hard boiled egg sandwiches before the start of shooting didn't exactly help, heheh," McGillis said enigmatically, "but it kinda distracted me from Tom's use of mosquito-repellant aftershave.

"Took my breath away."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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