Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 29 March 2014

NEW YORK CITY - The Queen of The NASCAR Circuit, Danica Patrick flew into the Big Apple to appear on Regis Philbin's and Larry King's The Viagra View talk show.

Danica told Regis that she was proud to say that she has just been named as one of the Nicest Females In The United States by the state of Indiana.

Danica said that she was ranked number one right above Barbara Walters, Oprah Winfrey, and Sofia Vergara.

Regis asked Danica what she thought about the remark that GOP mouthpiece Ann Coulter had made about her where she stated that she (Danica) was much too flat chested.

Danica raised her eyebrows and replied that she has never claimed that she was a buxom babe with huge Sofia Vergara like knockers.

She then added that who the hell does Ann Coulter think she is anyway since her itty bitty titties are a lot smaller than Simon Cowell's.

Danica grinned and asked Regis "What's that saying they have down in Nawlins (New Orleans) about the pot calling the kettle black?"

"Bingo!" replied Regis noting that "Trigger Face" Coulter looks like a surfboard but only not as pretty, as firm, or as charming.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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