Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 26 March 2014

image for Chicharito Reveals That He and Cheryl Cole Have Split
Chicharito said that there are 4 intimate things he'll miss about Cheryl.

GUADALAJARA, Mexico - Noted Manchester United Red Devils soccer player Javier Hernández Balcázar was visiting his relatives in Mexico when he was asked about the rumor that he had dumped British girlfriend Cheryl Cole.

Chicharito informed Laguna Vendetta a reporter with Mexico's national news agency Las Maracas that it was true.

He said that although he really and truly loves Chezza, as Cheryl is known, it just got to the point where it was harder and harder for the two to get together for some hokey pokey.

Chicharito commented that the rumor that he had recently been seen in Hollywood with such good looking celebrities as Nina Dobrev, Katy Perry, Eva Longoria, and Danica Patrick had nothing to do with the breakup.

Meanwhile back in London, Cheryl was asked by Loretta Piffinshaw with Ta Ta For Now News what caused the breakup.

She said that she did not want to talk about it. After being asked a third and fourth time she replied that Chicharito had told her that he did not want her to get any more tattoos.

Cheryl explained to Miss Piffinshaw that she told Javier that her body was her body and that he had no say regarding any tattoos she may want to get.

She said that he replied, "Okey dokey, then you can keep your body and I will not touch it ever again, even if you beg me and offer to buy me a brand new, fully loaded Lamborghini Murcielago - hasta later Chezzita."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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