Written by Felix Minderbinder
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Thursday, 9 November 2006

image for Britney Spears Offers to Console Republicans for Lousy Election Results
Spears - Republicans are so sexy

LOS ANGELES (AP)-- Pop princess Britney Spears is taking a break from her messy divorce proceedings by making a public offer to console any Republican member of Congress on a date for their loss of House and Senate control to the Democrats on November 7.

"Oh my god, I'd love to date those GOP legislators, or even those sexy guys in the White House, especially that Karl Rove," Britney gushed on the David Letterman Show. "Republicans are so sexy."

After two years and two babies Britney is now disposing of her hubby Kevin Federline, yet she is also seeking to renew her glamorous life in the media to escape her recently discarded, untidy and weepy baby-making career.

Britney is also seeking to ease the strain of the upcoming custody battle with Federline, who is also seeking spousal support payments from Britney.

She has thus offered "celebrity dates" to Congressional Republicans, partly since she still supports the GOP and George Bush's war in Iraq.

However, so far Britney's magnanimous offer has not received any takers from Republicans, possibly because as her press agent speculated, they are still either fighting criminal charges or they are "mostly queer."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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