Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 16 March 2014

image for Adam Lambert's Intimate Glitter Trauma
Lambert is known as Tinsel Town's King of Glitter.

LOS ANGELES - Adam Lambert performed at The San Andreas Fault Coliseum in LaLaLand.

After the concert he was asked by iRumors Ling Chow Rangoon to clear up the glitter trauma rumors. Lambert kind of blushed a bit but replied that he would be glad to set the record straight (no reverse pun intended).

Adam said that a few days ago he attended a party at the home of lesbianite singer Melissa Etheridge.

Etheridge had invited about two dozen well known Tinsel Town guests including Chelsea Handler, Kathy Griffin, and Joan Rivers who have a tremendous gay following according to FOX News.

Lambert said that some of the guests decided to play a game of leapfrog au naturel.

Well somehow someone had some glitter and Adam, who is known as the King of Glitter, ended up with some of it in his anal region.

Lambert told Miss Rangoon that he has no idea who the glitter culprit was since most of the guests were wearing Lone Ranger type masks.

He did say that Chelsea rushed him to a nearby clinic where a team of two doctors and three nurses performed a glitterectomy.

SIDENOTE: Adam said that the doctors instructed him to stay away from Chicken Alfredo, bagels, sauerkraut, and M&M's and that his butt should be back to normal in 48 hours.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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