Written by D P Whitehead
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Sunday, 9 March 2014

image for New TV Show 'The Wanking Dead' To Focus On Masturbating British Zombies
A Wanker or Tosser, as the Zombies will be affectionately known.

AMC have announced that they intend greenlighting a new Zombie TV show, loosely based on their hit "The Walking Dead". The series will be set in England, after a Zombie Apocalypse leaves the vast majority of the British population continually masturbating while drooling, and attacking those unaffected by the unexplained manifestation of the plague.

Based on the comic book series of the same name, 'The Wanking Dead' will tell the story of a small group of survivors living in the aftermath of the masturbating zombie apocalypse. The first season will be mostly set in the English city of Coventry and the surrounding countryside.

The survivors, led by local police officer, PC JerkOff, search for safe havens away from the shuffling hordes of predatory "wankers" or "tossers" (as the zombies are referred to in the show), who masturbate furiously over any living thing they catch, and whose sperm is infectious to non affected humans.

The plot will primarily focus on the dilemmas the group faces as they struggle to maintain their humanity, and own self abuse needs, during the day-to-day challenges of surviving in a hostile and sperm filled world.

Wanking is a British slang term, used to describe masturbation. Much like the American version known ass "Jerking off".

The show will be coming in June.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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