Written by Shortty
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Friday, 7 March 2014

image for The Kardashians are even more revolting in real life
An unfortunate fat person who can't afford to see Dr Nipantuck

Hollywood was in uproar last night after a celebrity plastic surgeon accidentally revealed that the Kardashians have been sharing their fat. Dr Geoffrey Nipantuck from the Beverly Hills Institute of Veterinarians accidently emailed details of the sisters cunning scheme to all of his patients.

It was revealed that the girls were deliberately seen out in public looking overweight and out of shape so they would be approached by magazines such as Hello, OK, and Look at me I'm A Moron and paid huge sums to lose weight. They would then have Dr Nipantuck suck gallons of putrid blubber from them and be photographed at an award ceremony looking slim and sexy so they could claim their money.

In an ingenious but unscrupulous twist however, the removed fat was then pumped into the next sister so she could be seen looking chubby and revolting while exercising in public. A new magazine deal was offered and Dr Nipantuck was summoned to perform the procedure all over again.

Magazine editor and celebrity watcher Joan Facetootight said " those bitches have been running this scam for years, they've probably earned millions, the bitches".

It seems like the scam may be over now though. Not only has Dr Nipantuck let the cat out of the bag but it seems like the sisters have had a falling out. Chloe's pet chihuahua urinated on Kanye West's mink coat sparking a furious row where Kim told her sisters "you bitches can forget earning any more money. I've got all the fat now and i'm gonna keep it".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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