Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 7 March 2014

image for The Alleged Rumors About Mariah Carey and Her Personal Trainer Are Spreading Like A Santa Ana Winds-Fed Wildfire
Mariah has a cat that is so mean she named it Brewer after Arizona Governor Jan Brewer.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The Left Coast rumor mills have been working 24/7 churning out tidbits regarding the Mariah Carey - Nick Cannon marriage.

Some of the RM's are saying that the picnic is over. Others state that Nick The Stick, who is 33, is getting real close to getting his walking papers. And still others say that Mariah The Cougar has gone off the deep end.

The latest rumor has the 43-year-old songstress allegedly involved with her personal trainer Bernie Coppalasanetti.

A close friend of Mariah's, who did not want her name mentioned, told Hollywood Innuendo that there is no man (other than Nick) who has seen more of Mariah's most intimate body parts than lucky Bernie.

Coppalasanetti, who looks like Derek Hough, except with dark hair, is regarded as one of the best personal trainers in all of LaLaLand.

He has worked on such Tinsel Town beauties as Sofia Vergara, Heidi Klum, Scarlett Johansson, and Jennifer Aniston.

Meanwhile, when Mariah was asked about her relationship with Bernie she became quite upset and stated that Bernie is like a brother to her. She paused for a moment and then said, "Ah, let's make that like a cousin."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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