Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 5 March 2014

image for Lindsay Lohan Says She Wants To Date Edgar Martirosyan, The World's Most Famous Pizza Delivery Man
Thanks to Ellen DeGeneres and Edgar Martirosyan pizza sales nationwide have gone up by 700%.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Lindsay Lohan stated that she was watching the Academy Awards Show at her home when suddenly she saw a man whom she said she was fascinated with.

Lohan is talking about Edgar Martirosyan, the pizza delivery man who delivered 3 pizzas to the celebrity-studded audience at the Oscars.

Edgar said that just getting to meet Ellen DeGeneres was a dream come true but getting to also rub elbows with the likes of Julia Roberts, Brad Pitt, Meryl Streep, Gary Busey, and Kevin Spacey was an absolute thrill.

Martirosyan, who is of Armenian descent, said that after the show he heard from Ellen that she had received a text message from Lindsay Lohan saying that she wanted to go out on a date with him.

Edgar was so shocked that he said he dropped about half a dozen packets of Parmesan Cheese on the floor.

He told Ms. DeGeneres to tell Miss Lohan that he would love to go out with her.

Story Update: Lindsay has agreed to pick up Edgar at his house and she said the two will go have a nice dinner at The La Brea Tar Pits Diner and then they'll go back to her home and talk about pizzas.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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