Written by Aaron David
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Tuesday, 4 March 2014

image for Shari don't like it.
Dummy: So life like

Shari Lewis, the popular ventriloquist of the sixties and seventies, has openly apologised for the effect her newest creation has had on the world.

When her TV career ended she continued to perfect her craft. She made more and more human-looking ventriloquists' dummies but took it a stage too far.

Shari, who died in 1998 said today; "I invented Justin as an effeminate geek for Lamb Chop to pick on. I put the latest animatronics into him and one day he came to life, just like the one in that Anthony Hopkins film; Captain Corelli's mannequin. He grabbed some sweaters and ran away, now he's on the news every day.

I sincerely apologise to the world for breathing life into the irritating little cunt.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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