Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 23 February 2014

image for Britney Spears Admits Her Recent Weight Gain Is A Result Of Her New Found Burger Craving
Britney says she is lucky to have David Lucado in her life

CALABASAS, California - Britney Spears says that she knows that she has put on a few pounds (12) but she says that it does not matter because she is as happy as a goat in a canning factory.

The former X-Factor judge told Tapioca Swizzle with Tittle Tattle Tonight that she has never been happier than she is now.

She pointed out that her boyfriend David Lucado waits on her hand and foot and he even maintains her lovely landing strip.

She also noted that both her sons are well-behaved and she is going to make sure that they do not turn out like damn heathens like Pattie Mallette's little boy Justin Bieber has.

Britney also told Miss Swizzle that Davy, as she refers to her boyfriend paints her fingernails and her toenails.

She giggled and said that if she did not know any better she swears he was as gay as her hairdresser FuFi Fondue.

SIDENOTE: Britney said that she plans on writing a book soon which is tentatively titled, I May Be A Bit On The Confused Side - But Thank Goodness I'm Not Paris Hilton.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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