Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 22 February 2014

image for Russell Brand shaves beard, gets mistaken for Kate Middleton
Kate Middleton needs to shave off that mustache to reveal she's a dead ringer for Russel Brand

Los Angeles, Ca - Strolling down Rodeo Drive this afternoon the former smack addict husband of Katy Perry nearly caused a riot after being besieged by paparazzi convinced he was royal Brit scrounger Kate Middleton.

"Actually he's slightly prettier than gold digger Kate," a passerby told reporters, "although they both have the same evil killer eyes and moron expression when there's an offer of free publicity around."

Brand also sports the same cocker spaniel hairdo beloved by Middleton whose hairdressing spending recently went through the roof after a giant bald patch appeared above her temple, revealing a 'Fuck Off, Plebs!' tramp stamp inked onto her scalp.

At the royal wedding in London comedian Brand was seated in the front pew of Westmonster Abbey after blogging an invitation to the sleazy nuptial do.

Later at the reception in Buckingham Palace a very worried Prince Philip buttonholed the raven-tresses whipper-snapper, demanding 'You're not some sort of evil Kate Middleton twin brother, are you?' of the reformed skank.

Today he looked positively glowing as Rodeo Drive paps strove to snap him outside the Gucci shop where Brand spent fifty five thousand dollars on a new man bag.

Catch a preview of his latest before-and-after-shaving video right here on this site.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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