Written by VWVonHagen
Print this

Thursday, 20 February 2014

image for Attempt By Justin Bieber To Skydive Without Parachute Ends In Disaster
Skydiver with parachute

Midwest, An attempt by annoying pop sensation Justin Bieber to become the first person to jump from an airplane and successfully land safely WITHOUT the use of a parachute has ended in disaster with hospital staff ruling out any possible public comeback "for at least 30 years".

Bieber's latest, desperate attempt to reinvent himself saw him skydive from an airplane over Salt Lake City Utah (where he has the most fans). His plan was to BOUNCE off the ground into some nearby trees to break his fall.

Hollywood stunt expert :"I don't know who advised him on this but they've sabotaged his whole career. His injuries are so extensive he may never annoy the public again."

Bieber's stunt also highlights the phenomenon of idiots from sheltered Christian backgrounds who become overnight sensations then engage in Jackass-inspired acts of public disorder, self-harm and wrong-headed mayhem to boost their waning popularity. Many lack the intelligence to cope with broader cultural realities.

Doctor, Utah : " Yeah, i agree. You hear of parachutes failing to open but Bieber must have focused on the ludicrously small number of incidences where there's fluke survival and used it as his guiding rationale. The..eh..Gods clearly weren't on his side this time round."

Make VWVonHagen's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 1?

1 3 19 8
50 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more