Written by Al N.
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Friday, 14 February 2014

image for John Travolta Given $8 Million Dollars for NOT Making Battlefield Earth II
Simulated Earth used in first film.

Hollywood, CA. John Travolta was promised at least $8 million dollars from the Kickstarter website, organized by John Travolta's fans to NOT make Battlefield Earth II as originally threatened.

One million of the dollars came from the first movie's co-star, Forest Whitaker.

"It's already considered the worst movie of two millenniums (the movie came out in 2000) and it took me a long time to get my career back on track after being in that debacle," spoke Whitaker. "PLEASE don't do this John!"

"What has the world done to deserve this?" spoke fellow Scientologist Tom Cruise. "I just can't stay quiet any longer. I mean, has any movie ever sucked more? It was even worse than Cocktail!"

The movie, based on a book written by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, is probably the worst of a long line of banal, unimaginative, and cliche-ridden books by Hubbard.

"Battlefield Earth" makes even the Scientology books written by Hubbard look good in comparison," spoke a movie critic who wished to remain anonymous.

Hardcore Scientologists such as rotund actress Kirstie Alley and famous ignoramus Jenna Elfman were also heard pleading with Travolta not to make the sequel.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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