Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 11 February 2014

image for George Clooney told to keep his big nose out of Brits' Elgin Marbles
The Greeks have allowed their national treasures to fall into wrack and ruin

New York - The Ancient Greek artefucts were saved from ruination on the Parthenon, a sculpted frieze atop the Athens Acropolis, by Thomas Bruce, 7th Earl of Elgin and British ambassador to the Ottoman Empire from 1799 -1803.

Today their continued conservation and display at the British Museum was slammed by the Monuments Men director who demanded the treasures return immediately back to the Greeks.

"Just one problem, Mr Clooney," a reporter from QM-NewsCorpse chuckled, "the controversial sculpture was looted by M'Lord from the TURKS, and not the bloody Greeks!"

Of course this cut no ice with the philistine Hollywood actor-turned director whom Brit movie audiences suspect of being on a cut from the Greek government to secure the artwork's return.

Meanwhile Turkey's Ministry of Culture and Artefuct Stuff has issued a statement bemoaning 'stupid bastard Greeks' and their 'daft mouthpieces' for constantly moaning about 'ancient effing treasures' after centuries of pissing all over them became the national sport.

"George Clooney has lost his marbles," Turkish Culture Secretary Ozman Pittabred commented, " and doesn't know his Acropolis from his Apocalypse."

Not surprising really, innit?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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