Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 9 February 2014

image for Simon Cowell's X-Factor Gets The Axe!
Simon Cowell says that he is looking forward to returning to merry olde England. (Photo courtesy of Prince Charles).

HOLLYWOOD - British television mogul Simon Cowell is not a happy camper as his pride and joy X-Factor has just been cancelled by the FOX Network.

Cowell said that he was having lunch with his long time friend and fellow ex-judge Paula Abdul at The Enchanted Enchilada Restaurant when he got a text message from Demi Lovato.

Lovato told Simon "The Sultan of Sarcasm" Cowell that she had just been told by her hair stylist FuFi Fondue that X-Factor had bitten the musical dust.

Demi said that Fondue had gotten the word from an insider at the show.

When Hollywood Innuendo's Fajita San Guacamole contacted Fox to find out why they had axed X-Factor she was told that there were many reasons.

One reason was because Simon had gone from being a wildcat to being a pussycat. He stopped being mean and he kind of turned into an older version of Clay Aiken.

The insider also noted that the audience missed seeing Demi (Lovato) sitting next to Simon and playfully flirting and carrying on with him.

Another reason was due to the fact that a lot of people especially up in the Dakota's, Wisconsin, and Minnesota could not understand a word that Paulina Rubio said.

East L.A., Brooklyn, the Bronx, Chicago, and Miami loved her but some of the other cities actually asked X-Factor to put up sub-titles.

Many said that last year's co-host Khloe Kardashian was simply lost on the show and at times she looked like Wynonna Judd frustratingly looking for a biscuit.

SIDENOTE: X-Factor rival American Idol issued a statement which said: We were first. We're number one. And now Simon can go back to England and raise his little boy in the London fog.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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