Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 7 February 2014

image for Pussy Riot in F**k The Winter Olympics opening ceremony
Band's founding members (pic: Marxism Gorbachev)

Bloodyvostock, Russia - The all-female slag band will be the headline act at tonight's alternative Russian Olympics opening ceremony at the Bloodyvostock National Arena organisers said today.

Thousands of tickets have been sold for the Sochi Suckx gig to be broadcast live on the internet, KGB signal jammers permitting.

"Da, feels like old times again," lead vocalist Maria Alkoholova told reporters at a packed lunchtime photo-op, "we feel honored to be performing our latest medley of smash-hits."

Tonight's line-up includes ex-London 2012 shot put bronze medalist Svetlana Vodkatovich, 69, playing jazz trombone and cameo slots of the ukulele.

Fellow musician Lyudmilla Rasputin will be straddling her electric keyboard once again and belting out the band's wildly popular 'Failed Potato Harvest Blues' which reached No 1 on the Moscow Hit Parade last year.

The line-up is completed with Leningrad's very own answer to Britney Spears, 74 year-old Skankina Turnipovichaya, on kettle drums, timpani and intravenous liquid amphetamines.

Catch the band's opening act webcast right here from midnight Moscow time.

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