Written by queen mudder

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Wednesday, 5 February 2014

image for Johnny Depp's fab new $25m 'Downton Abbey' mansion under 10ft of water in Brit floodplain disaster
Those magnificent river views now feature in every downstairs room

Somerset - The Pirates Of The Caribbean star is said to have been particularly impressed by the property's splendid river views when he first toured the Palladian pile late last year with current live-in squeeze Amber Heard.

Set in 850 magnificent acres of prime rural Somerset the 18th century mansion is now sporting what local realtors described this morning as a 'wall-to-wall' swimming pool situation after weeks of torrential rain flooded the county.

Boasting 12 sumptuous bedrooms, six fabulous reception rooms, eight stunning bathroom and more than two dozen feature fireplaces so beloved by US realtors' property blurbs, the magnificent river views from all the principal rooms are 'one helluva lot closer' to the house than ever before according to latest flood reports.

"Depp and Heard had been particularly impressed by the mansion's superb landscaped grounds when they toured in December," estate agent Ronny Gazimpa told reporters.

"They are likely to be utterly distraught that virtually all the wonderful plants, shrubs and stunning specimen trees have now been washed away along with tons of Somerset topsoil into a boggy quagmire that was a neighboring pig farm before the storms hit."

It is not known whether the property was actually insured.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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