Written by Auntie Matter
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Monday, 3 February 2014

image for Harry Potter Book 8 Leaked!
Book 8... Who would ever have thought it?

A lawyer representing J.K. Rowling who refuses to be named told "Hollywood Sleuth" last week that he was "ashamed and deeply embarrassed" to have revealed the plot and indeed existence of Harry Potter Book 8.

Now the whole world knows that Book 8 is where Hermione and Harry get married!

Rowling had already hinted at how "disappointed" she has been not to have had them married in a previous book, without actually letting it slip that she was working on the book to put things right.

Paramount have already bought the film rights said the lawyer who quipped from a cloud of cigar smoke that he "expects to be fined a thousand pounds or thereabouts", for having "inadvertently leaked" the news prior to the publication of the book.

Rowling's partner Neil Blair was unavailable for comment. Indeed nobody knows who Neil Blair is or what he looks like. Said Rowling... "I am soooo sooo disappointed in our legal representative breaking his silence when we pay him good money to keep his mouth shut. But I suppose the news would have come out anyway. We take this very seriously regardless. Our team will battle on and we would expect to have the book on the shelves for the summer when sales of children's books are at their peak. Not that I write for children. I would hate for people to think that."

Thanks to the leak, sales of book and film are expected to break all box-office records. Children who buy more than four books at a time will be given a toy sheep. People who see the film more than ten times will be given a real sheep.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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