TORONTO - The mother of Justin Bieber says that thanks to her heartless, irresponsible, and ditsy son she has aged 10 years in the past 10 months.
Pattie Mallette told a reporter for a local newspaper that she has no idea what in the world happened to her sweet, kind, precious little Justy.
She remarked that she's afraid that she may have spoiled the little twit by not making him eat his vegetables when he was a mere lad of six.
She also said that she should have insisted that he become a dentist instead of pushing him towards the world of music.
Mallette confessed that last night she called Justy to come to the dinner table. She got no response. She called again and still no response.
She then went to his room and knocked on the door. When he did not answer she opened the door and she found him sitting on a skateboard, dressed in Sleeping Beauty underwear, and holding his breath.
She immediately yelled out for him to breathe and he did. She quickly apologized and told him that if he doesn't like spam and tuna fish balls that he should have told her and she would have made him something else.
Justin mumbled something that sounded like he was speaking Mandarin Chinese.
SIDENOTE: Pattie Mallette has spoken to Dr. Phil and he has told her that she needs to get that immature, selfish, little punk into therapy as soon as possible.