Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 28 January 2014

image for Heidi Klum Dumps Her Bodyguard/Boyfriend
Heidi is 40 but she has the body of a 20-year-old.

REDONDO BEACH, California - Heidi Klum was shopping at the Sir Surfboard Shop in Redondo Beach when she was approached by a reporter with Glamboyant Magazine.

The reporter Savannah Kettle asked Ms. Klum if the rumor about her breaking up with her boyfriend and bodyguard Martin Kristen was true.

The 40-year-old supermodel, who is the ex-wife of singer Seal, smiled politely and said that she had actually dumped Mr. Kristen. She stated that she felt like he was trying to force her into marriage.

Klum, who is worth $70 million said that her mama didn't raise no fool and she knows that $70 million divided by two equals to $35 million.

Heidi also pointed out that Martin was forever telling some of the most vulgar, nastiest Sarah Palin jokes that she had ever heard.

She was quick to point out that she cannot stand that Loose Moose woman but she did say that she did not want to hear her referred to as a low-life [EXPLETIVE DELETED], or a scummy [EXPLETIVE DELETED], or a skanky-looking [EXPLETIVE DELETED].

SIDENOTE: Heidi told Miss Kettle that she would really like to date Dancing With The Stars pro Derek Hough.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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