Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 26 January 2014

image for The Ex-Mistress That Tiger Woods Could End Up Marrying
Tiger has revealed that Rachel used to kiss his golf balls for good luck.

CRYSTAL CITY, Texas - Tiger Woods was in Crystal City, Texas, which is known as The Spinach Capital of The World.

The champion golfer had gone there to see about purchasing an 18-wheeler load of spinach, which he says is his favorite side dish.

The 38-year-old Woods recently revealed to a very close friend that part of the reason why he is such a fantastic golfer is because he eats three cans of spinach a day.

He smiled and said that the cartoon character Popeye knew exactly what he was doing when he would pop open a can and eat the spinach to give him strength.

While in Crystal City, Woods was asked about the talk that he could possibly be getting back together with one of his Golf Gate mistresses.

Tiger blushed and said that it was true and volunteered that he had in fact been texting Rachel Uchitel who just got divorced.

He pointed out that Rachel, who he described as The Magic-Tongued Seductress, was probably the best horizontal bopper he had ever been with.

Woods grinned and remarked that Rachel is a year older than him and he has always loved cougars so he very well could end up marrying the sultry divorcée.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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