Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 25 January 2014

image for Friends of Pattie Mallette (Justin Bieber's Mom) Are Worried She May End Up In A Rehab Clinic
Justin Bieber's antics could cause his mom to end up at The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic.

BEVERLY HILLS - Justin Bieber's mother, Pattie Mallettte, traveled from her home in Canada to Beverly Hills to visit one of the nation's best stress doctors.

Ms. Mallette told Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle that her son Justy has literally put her through hell due to his obsession with wanting to be a white version of hip hop rapper Kanye West.

Mallette stated that her little boy, who she said is 19 going on 9, has always been a follower. She noted that back in junior high school he almost became a cheerleader simply because his cousin Nellie Dinbrowski was a cheerleader and she told him to become one as well.

Pattie said her son changed his mind when he learned he was going to have to shave his legs, his underarms, and his bikini region.

Justin's mom has admitted that all of the stress that her son has put her through has caused some of her hair to fall out. She confided to her gynecologist that she had no idea that pubic hair could fall out due to stress.

She also commented that her sex life has gone from doing the sis boom bah 3 times a month down to just .5 times a month.

SIDENOTE: Mallette recently confided to her FedEx deliveryman that 9 of her closest friends are afraid she may end up having to check herself into a rehab clinic for stress, bulimia, melancholia, and lack of mattress merriment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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