Internationally renowned Kazakh journalist, Borat Sagdiyev, will be arrested and stoned to death if he ever returns to Kazakhstan. Following outcry from his recent documentary, the Kazakh government has signed official forms calling for the journalist's death.
"This Borat fellow...he is a punk, an imbicile, a rotten vegetable of kinds!" announced Karamal Krame, a man who announced himself to us as spokeperson for the Kazakh government but looked suspiciously like British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, in some form of drag. "The man is a lover of goats and is not to be tolerated! We have signed official forms for his death! Official forms! Death!"
This is now the second official warrant for Mr. Sagdiyev's death. Last week, terrorist group "The Christian Woman's Society of America for Complete Censorship of Everything" declared that for the "sake of mankind", their members are instructed to maim Borat if ever they see him, or anyone who looks like him.
The Kazakh government has advised its people in America to keep a low profile, shave off all moustaches and restrict their listening to the Village People.