Written by Neil Levine
Print this
Topics: Men, Ryan

Tuesday, 31 October 2006

image for Reese Witherspoon Is On The Prowl
Ryan eXed --- OUT

Gossip Central, Agent's Rumor Mill, Hollywood and Whine---Talent agents looking for extra commissions and gossip mongers looking for an extra body to invite to an event and an ear to fill are now reporting that Reese Witherspoon, star of "Alabammy On My Mind" and "Homeward Bound" and the upcoming "Pretty As Pink" and "Emotionally Blonde," is on the prowl for a man.

Not just anyone, of course (OF COURSE), but a real, walking, talking media friendly hunk with loose purse strings and tight hips, Hollywood good looks, sweet down home manners and a fat wallet stuffed with Ben Franklin's official portrait. He has to be good with kids, know how to build sand castles, be hunky dory and also able to occupy a mansion fit for Hollywood royalty.

Further complicating matters would be the need to undergo therapy and the ability to hold his own under intense scrutiny.

It has been reported that Reese has been seen prowling local night spots, expensive restaurants and public-sized co-ed events.

Anyone with knowledge of a likely male candidate is asked to call, toll free, 1-800-I NEED A HUNK. Be sure to leave your secret identity at the beep.

Make Neil Levine's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 3?

2 16 12 25
62 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more