Written by Neil Levine
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Topics: Men, Ryan

Tuesday, 31 October 2006

image for Reese Witherspoon Is On The Prowl
Ryan eXed --- OUT

Gossip Central, Agent's Rumor Mill, Hollywood and Whine---Talent agents looking for extra commissions and gossip mongers looking for an extra body to invite to an event and an ear to fill are now reporting that Reese Witherspoon, star of "Alabammy On My Mind" and "Homeward Bound" and the upcoming "Pretty As Pink" and "Emotionally Blonde," is on the prowl for a man.

Not just anyone, of course (OF COURSE), but a real, walking, talking media friendly hunk with loose purse strings and tight hips, Hollywood good looks, sweet down home manners and a fat wallet stuffed with Ben Franklin's official portrait. He has to be good with kids, know how to build sand castles, be hunky dory and also able to occupy a mansion fit for Hollywood royalty.

Further complicating matters would be the need to undergo therapy and the ability to hold his own under intense scrutiny.

It has been reported that Reese has been seen prowling local night spots, expensive restaurants and public-sized co-ed events.

Anyone with knowledge of a likely male candidate is asked to call, toll free, 1-800-I NEED A HUNK. Be sure to leave your secret identity at the beep.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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