Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 20 January 2014

image for Joan Rivers Gets Into It With Ellen DeGeneres On Ellen's Talk Show
Joan Rivers shown without her tons of makeup and wig.

NEW YORK CITY - Joan Rivers loves being called The Queen of Mean. She has been known to turn herself into a vicious rattlesnake quicker than Wynonna Judd can eat a honey covered biscuit.

Rivers who is 80-years-old still loves nothing better than getting into feuds with men, women, and noted blogger Perez Hilton.

She can turn from being a tuna fish into being a dangerous piranha faster than Sarah "Snowflake" Palin can make a geographical gaffe.

Joan recently appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and talk got around to country artist Blake Shelton who appears on The Voice.

Rivers said that when Christina Aguilera stands next to the big strapping Shelton she looks like a drinking straw.

Joan pointed out that Christina has lost so much weight that if it was not for her Adam's apple the poor girl would have no figure.

Ellen told her to stop being so gosh darn mean. Rivers looked at Ellen and said that she makes it a point not to pay attention to what lesbians have to say.

DeGeneres responded with a "What did you say Ms. Rivers?"

"Oh stop playing the Van Gogh game with me little lady, it is no secret that you are actually Mr. Ellen DeGeneres."

Ellen could not believe her ears.

She then said that she was going to change the subject before she picked up a two by four and hit her on her extremely botoxed space alien-looking poor excuse for a friggin face.

SIDENOTE: Ellen went to a commercial and when the show continued Joan Rivers' chair was empty. Ellen had called two security guards to escort the venom-spewing demon out of her studio and off the property.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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