Written by Andy Woolfoot
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Topics: TV, Reality TV

Monday, 30 October 2006

image for Producers hail 'ultimate reality show'
Ant and Dec - Cheeky Chappies

ITV chiefs have hailed their discovery of what they claim will be the ultimate reality show.
Filming will start next week of 'I'm the World's Strongest Disabled Celebrity on Ice Get Me Out of Here Idol'.

The concept of the show is pretty much a combination of all the rubbish that has been churned out for the last ten years ever since the BBC realised it cost only half as much to follow people round with cameras than it did to pay writers and actors to create something worthwhile.

Celebrities lined up to take part include Professor Stephen Hawkins, Mohammed Ali, David Blunkett and Heather Mills. Oh and that ginger who always wins gold at the Paralympics, whatsherface, Tami Gray-Thompson that's it!

ITV were keen to stress that no one has signed up for it at the current time although they have received lots of interest and that it will undoubtedly be hosted by Ant and Dec. It is not clear at the moment whether Paul Danan is considering crippling himself in order to qualify for the show.

An insider on the production team told The Spoof: "ITV are really excited about this one. They believe that it will be the watermark for which all reality shows will be judged on in the future, even though it's probably going to be a load of arse.

"But think of the ratings. Can you imagine watching Stephen Hawkins trying to crawl over a snake pit on ice whilst simultaneously trying to fend of a wolf before having to lift a half-ton concrete ball onto a barrel and then performing 'My Way' to a panel of judges? It will be TV gold."

The winner of the show will receive £200,000 which will then be donated to charity by their agent, regardless of their wishes.

Each week viewers will vote one of the contestants out and then producers will keep finding surprise disabled celebrities to enter into the show until they run out or until Big Brother starts again.

Ian Hyland, the News of the Worlds' Toxic TV critic, was unavailable for comment as he was too busy following Rik Waller round laughing at him and repeatedly poking him with a stick.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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