Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 16 January 2014

image for Tiger Woods Admits He Is Getting Fed Up With Blonde Girlfriend Lindsey Vonn
Tiger recently stated that he is married to golf and therefore he does not need another wife.

CHICAGO - Tiger Woods flew into the Windy City to attend a new golf products convention.

He told sports reporters that he had come across a terrific golf club that is excellent for hitting the ball out of a sand trap.

The 38-year-old Woods said he spoke to one of the manufacturing representatives about filming a commercial for the Super Sand Trap Golf Club XXX.

Tiger was asked by iRumors reporter Vodka Vermicelli about the latest rumor that he has become fed up with his blonde alpine skier girlfriend Lindsey Vonn, 29.

Tiger blushed and replied that the rumor is 100 percent correct. He said that ever since Baby Cakes, as he calls Lindsey, got hurt she has done nothing but complain that she wants to become Mrs. Tiger Woods.

He pointed out that every day she mentions the word marriage at least 22 times.

Woods has told her that he does not want to marry her because he knows that deep down within the inner recesses of his groin region he is certain that he cannot be faithful.

Tiger said that it is just a part of who he is and he already handed over $110 million to ex-wife Elin Nordegren and he just does not want to ever go through that money ordeal again.

SIDENOTE: Lindsey Vonn says that she is certain she will be able to convince Tiger to marry her because she knows all kinds of lasciviously lewd sex acts that only about 9 percent of adult American women know.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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