Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 14 January 2014

image for Catherine Zeta Jones Says She's Ending Her May-December Marriage To Michael Douglas
Catherine has said that she has pretty much adjusted to being bipolar.

NEW YORK CITY - Catherine Zeta Jones stated to The Right Coast Revue that her being bipolar has nothing to do with her having decided to end her 13-year marriage to Michael Douglas.

Catherine did say that she has always been superstitious about the number 13 and that did play a small part in her decision.

She told Ashburn Wasabi with The RCR that she finally put a pencil to paper and realized that her May-December marriage has caught up to her.

Catherine pointed out that Michael is 69, whereas she is only 44, a difference of 25 years.

She commented that it is almost like being married to a statue.

The Welsh actress also noted that she just cannot get used to the smell of Ben Gay and Absorbine Jr.

SIDENOTE: Catherine Zeta Jones plans to file for divorce on grounds of Habeas Archaicism Muchioso.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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