Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 13 January 2014

image for Chinese Year of the Wooden Horse 'doom' in upcoming Rolf Harris kiddie sex trial
The year commemorates the Chinese take on the Trojan Whorse

London, UK - The Chinese Year of the Wooden Horse which starts at the end of January is looking increasingly spooky for the Oz entertainer.

Harris, who was born in the Chinese Wooden Horse year of 1930, now sees what astrologers term 'natal stuff' come full circle ahead of his 84th birthday.

The octogenarian has been indicted in London on paedo charges in a weird link to his '69 UK No 1 hit single 'Two Little Boys' featuring some seriously twee and irritating lyrics: Two little boys had two little toys, Each had a wooden horse; Gaily they'd play each summer's day, Worriers of cause.

"Rolf was warned that song could come back to haunt him one day," former Radio Stars DJ Candy Rollover said today commenting on the astrology, "some of its parts always looked ripe to be misconstrued.

"Take that stuff about, One little chap then had a mishap, Broke off his horse's head..." - clearly a reference to prepubescent exploitation of fledgling sexuality."

Superstitious Chinese soothsayers have always hinted at the sexual connotations of the Wooden Horse year which commemorates Imperial China's own take on the Wooden Horse of Troy.

The ancient legend relates how prepubescent boy soldiers crammed inside the wooden erection were squashed up against their older male counterparts, resulting in the kind of hanky-panky storm now facing Rolf Harris.

Chances of a fair trial and subsequent acquittal are running around the 50/50 mark.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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