Written by D P Whitehead
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Monday, 13 January 2014

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Sofia Vergara Probably Endorses The Laptop or Computer You Are Using To Read This

Modern Family actress Sofia Vergara has announced that she has signed yet another multi-million dollar endorsement deal - this time endorsing yet anther product she has not used, purchased, would ever dream of using or purchasing, has no intention of ever having in her home, wearing, eating or has even heard of - until offered a multi-million dollar endorsement deal, endorsing this product.

The Colombian actress, the highest paid female star on the planet, currently seen on TV in numerous commercials and another show that used to be funny, is said to be "delighted" to be the spokeswoman of something else she does not use.

"It is an honor to tell people how good this thing is that I never use," beamed the sultry Latina, "I hope people buy and use this thing, whatever is, and think of me using it (which I don't) when they use it."

Vergara is currently the public face of dairy products (though she is lactose intolerant), K-Mart (wouldn't be seen dead in one), cats (allergic to them) and ANYTHING else she is offered vast sums of money to talk about, in a somewhat annoying and heavily accented voice (noise), that after a while, after initially finding it amusing, you grow to hate...so, so much.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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