Written by King David
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Topics: Golf, Bob Dylan

Sunday, 29 October 2006

image for Reporter Finds Bob Dylan Really Likes Golf
Bob Dylan

HILTON HEAD ISLAND-S.C. Put your doubts aside. Folk singer Bob Dylan has admitted that he really likes to play golf. "There is nothing like a round of golf to release tension before a show," the 65-year old musician said. "I wish the record executives would have let me do this years ago, but I had an image to keep up," he admitted saying.

Now, he gets to let his hair down. Dylan likes playing golf so much that he has recently moved into a condominium off the 18th-hole fairway of the Colleton River Plantation golfing community on Hilton Head Island.

"That's what happens when you deny yourself something," Dylan's psychoanalyst said. "It just builds up until you can't take it anymore and have to do it." Dylan also says that he is tired of writing and playing music and just wants to retire and play golf like everyone else.

"I know that I portrayed myself as an individual most of my life, but really, deep down inside I just want to be like everybody else."

"Both Bob and I feel this is healthy," Dylan's analyst said.

When asked what kind of neighbor Dylan is, his neighbors admit that they don't know much about who he is, or his past, but they like his leopard-skin pill-box hat which he wears when he plays golf sometimes.

"They say that he made lots of money in the music business," one neighbor was reported as saying. "But that he seems like a friendly person and will fit in here just fine. We prefer to know him just as Bob."

Dylan admitted that many of the songs that he was writing in the 60's were actually about golf. "It's Alright Ma, I'm Only Bleeding" was written about a rainy day at the golf course and says that it mirrors his whole career and the theme of his denial:

Darkness at the break of noon
Shadows even the silver spoon
The handmade blade, the child's balloon
Eclipses both the sun and moon
To understand you know too soon
There is no sense in trying

"Maggie's Farm" was originally, "I ain't gonna play on Maggie's Farm no more." But the record company execs made me change the lyrics. And his senuous lovesong "Lay, Lady Lay" is really a song that he wrote about teeing off at the 18th fairway.

Dylan isn't the only folk singer who loves golf. Joni Mitchell whose 60's hit, "Big Yellow Taxi" was really a lament against losing Paradise, a golf course that she grew up living next to in her hometown.

They paved Paradise and put up a parking lot....

Now, with many of the old folksinger's retiring, we will probably see more of them coming out of the closet and carrying their clubs instead of guitars......... Four!! (in four-quarter time).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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