London, UK - Grim news from Blighty this weekend shows loads of Brit goggle box-heads are totally stumped about NCIS 'quack' Dr Mallard's role in the Duck Dynasty homophobic rant saga.
A UK drinks industry post-festive poll of 1,000 TV viewers published this weekend shows widespread confusion with 80% of lager/stout/real ale drinkers convinced NCIS medical examiner Dr Donald 'Ducky' Mallard 'must have had something to do with it'.
Also fazed was a high proportion of wine, cider and alcopop imbibers who struggled to remember their Xmas viewing but expressed a hunch that 'Ducky' Mallard is an ok, clean-shaven kinda bloke unlike over-hairy Duck Commander Phil Robertson.
Commenting on the poll's findings a media specialist said today that eggnog drinkers remain the country's top worry based on continuing analysis of their TV choices.
"Last year their top gaffe was mixing up NCIS Special Agent Ziva David's role in Kidon - the Mossad's legendary internal department responsible for the execution of terrorists - with Kiddush," pollster Hugo Melanoma-Smithers said.
The traditional Jewish ritual involves reciting blessings over a cup of wine, something that eggnog fans would probably be barred from because of strict kosher rules about mixing dairy and non-dairy stuff.
"Fortunately most of the tequila, absinthe and cherry brandy lovers polled had no trouble differentiating between Dr Mallard and the Duck Commander," Melanoma-Smithers added.
Duck Dynasty remains America's favorite Dynasty sequel despite Robertson's horrid remarks.