Written by Gail Farrelly
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Saturday, 4 January 2014

image for Spider-Man Out of Work
The next Broadway star?

His Broadway show, "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark" is closing, and he's not looking forward to joining the unemployment line.

"The worst part," Spidey confided, "is that they donated my costume to The Smithsonian, so I have to scrounge around for something to wear." With a sad smile, he added, "What a way to treat a superhero, huh?"

For now, he'll be making do with his Peter Parker attire. "It's not that bad, really," Spider-Man said, with a brave smile. He continued in a low voice, "I'm hanging onto my web, so if any government officials give me flak when I apply for my unemployment benefits, I can snare them in a New York minute. Taking care of obnoxious civil servants is my specialty. No problem."

Rumor is that the show "King Kong" will be the next attraction, in a few months, at the Foxwoods Theater on Broadway (the one that the show is vacating). In fact, some think that there was a big battle between Spidey and KK and that the huge ape won out, enabling him to take over the theater. But Spidey claims that the rumor isn't true.

"King Kong and I are good friends," he said with a wink, continuing, "okay, he's an animal, but we have a lot in common, sharing an obsession with tall buildings, epic battles and beautiful blond babes."

Ah, the ties that bind!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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