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Thursday, 2 January 2014

Billy Mitchell's career, best known from the BBC soap Eastenders, has been found dead at its home in Walford, aged 51. Police that arrived to the scene described it as 'deeply upsetting' and a 'great loss to the London-based soap'. Interestingly, a post-mortem is currently underway with experts reporting that 'his career has been dead for years'.  

Mitchell's career was previously diagnosed with many bad storylines, forcing him to take it easy and act as nothing more than filler. However, in recent years, the failing actor has been plagued with an ever increasing bout of mediocrity, which has caused him to shy away from entertaining plot lines in fears that a new script would send his career spiralling out of control. 

"Billy was great at padding out the shows length", an insider told us. "If an episode was 20 seconds too short, we'd get Billy to walk past and fill that time gap. He was a great extra."

Flowers and cards have been left for Billy's deceased career, one note reading 'Gone and mostly forgotten'.

Viewers of the show have already begun speculating that the lack of a quality storyline is what caused the careers untimely death. However, TV experts say that too many of the cast members are surviving on dire scripts for this to be the only contributing factor.

This isn't the first time a soap tragedy has happened; 2010 found Ashley Peacock's career in pieces when he was axed. The blade of the axe severed his acting capability and popularity, leaving Coronation Street no choice but to remove him from the soap.  

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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