Written by Wire Piddle

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Tuesday, 31 December 2013

image for Justin Bieber Retires From Music To Become A Speck of Lint You See Left Hand Middle Of Your Laptop
Justin Bieber To Take Up Residency End Of Girl's Finger

LOS ANGELES, CA - Justin Bieber held a press conference today to announce that he retires and will begin the New Year as a speck of lint.

"But I don't want to be any speck of lint, just the speck of lint you see on the left hand side middle of your laptop. If you look close enough, I'm certain you can find me."

When ask by one reporter if he had thought what would happen to him if someone decided to remove that speck of lint he would become, Bieber pondered the question for a moment and stated,

"No, actually, I hadn't considered that, perhaps I've been a bit too hasty in my decision-making of late, what with constant world touring. I think I might take back that becoming a piece of lint on your laptop thing. Perhaps I'll make a go at becoming a serious actor."

"Originally I was going to change my name to Yusuf Islam and become a teacher but that's been done before."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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