Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 31 December 2013

image for A Judge Orders 86½ Pound Nicole Richie To Gain Some Weight
Judge W.Q. Farmbender has mandated that Nicole Richie gain some weight.

BEVERLY HILLS - When it comes to weight Nicole Richie makes LeAnn Rimes and Christina Aguilera, who are both skinny, look like Carnie Wilson.

Richie, who is considered a Hollywood celebutante along the lines of Paris Hilton, recently told Barbara Walters on The View that everyone says that she is anorexic but she does not see herself that way.

Nicole stated that she sees herself as being fat; not quite like Wynonna Judd or David Crosby but pretty close.

She says that she has gone from wearing a size 0 to wearing a size minus 1.

Nicole's husband Joel Madden confided to a close friend that he does not want to hurt Nicky's feelings but she is starting to look like a walnut with ears.

Nicole told Walters that she maintains her weight loss by eating a plum for breakfast, an Oreo Cookie for lunch, and a dash of paprika for dinner.

Some members of Nicole's family are so concerned that she may continue to lose weight that they have convinced a judge to demand that she gain some weight.

Los Angeles County Judge W.Q. Farmbender has issued a directive that requires Ms. Richie to get her weight up to 94 pounds by Valentine's Day or risk being arrested and incarcerated for Nolo Attentionitis de Judge.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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