Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 28 December 2013

image for Spooky how Madonna's new 'smart' mascara has made her psychic
Enough to make your eyelashes curl! Even more potent than Madonna's best selling Kabbalah water

Los Angeles - A $500,000 mascara originally developed by space program scientists as eye medication for treating astronauts' gamma ray blast exposure has been endorsed by Madonna as an awesome gambling aid.

In a forthcoming interview with Megabux Celeb magazine the entertainer reveals how she won a huge heap of online poker cash this Yuletide holiday while 'test driving' Space NK Apothecary's new 'smart' mascara, Catz Eyes Nebula Lash.

"It opened my inner eye to this ultra cool intuitive energy," Material Girl said, "and suddenly I was psychically sensing straight flushes and pairs of jacks."

The half-a-million-dollars-a-pop eyelash enhancer apparently carries nano particle accelerating stuff which, when it comes into contact with blood capillaries close to the optic nerve, activates spooky electrical activity in the brain's extra sensory perception lobes.

The result is flashes of extraordinary psychic energy that peaks during guessing games such as five card stud.

This weekend pals of the entertain said she'd virtually bought up 99% of the world's supplies of this wonder stuff including patents and other intellectual property benefits.

City of Detroit bankruptcy administrators hold the remaining 1% with a view to utilising some of its alleged magical properties at the earliest next opportunity.

January's winning PowerBall numbers are likely to be 2, 6, 39, 41 and 44 .

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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