Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 23 December 2013

image for Adele pulls out of Roman Abramovich lavish $10million New Year's Eve bash
One of Roman Abramovich's former trophy wives, former sleigh-puller Vixen

St Bart's, Caribbean - "She doesn't need fashion advice from someone named after one of Santa's bloody reindeer!" is how singer Adele's PR put it today following remarks by Russian mobster Roman Abramovich's current live-in squeeze Dasha Zhukova.

Oscar-winning songbird Adele had been due to perform at Abramovich's Gouveneurs Bay Estate this New Year's Eve in what Ms Z Said she feared would be 'one of her signature barrage balloon dresses'.

This morning someone tipped off the extremely rounded Ms Adkins about Dasha's horrid comments prompting the Skyfall singer to deploy what entertainment lawyers have called 'a standard industry withdrawal method' to cancel her appearance on 31December.

It means that a bumper $1million paycheck will now go begging as the Russian gangster trawls the net for a suitable replacement to entertain his 100 guests at the annual Caribbean bash.

Commenting on the debacle California celebwatch site said that that the Russian oligarch's previous wives and girlfriends had all been named after Santas's fabled sleigh-pullers:

"Dasha is just one of Abramovich's current string," Rambo Skuttle, entertainment correspondent at LA HagFagSlagMag.con said, "the others being Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Ma-Donner-Kebab and Blitzen."

Meanwhile New York warbler Lady Gaga is also said to be unavailable to perform for the Russian on New Year's Eve amid reports she'll 'definitely be 69 that night'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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