Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 23 December 2013

image for Chelsea Handler Says If Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson Wasn't Married She'd Be All Over Him Like Mustard On A Hot Dog Wiener
Robertson says that he loves to eat spiders as a midnight snack.

LOS ANGELES - The host of Chelsea Lately, Chelsea Handler has reportedly told Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle that she loves a man with a big beard like the one Phil Robertson has.

Handler, who has a reputation of getting around in the hokey pokey department, told Miss Chipotle that if Robertson was not married she would be all over him like mustard on a hot dog wiener.

Chipotle could not believe her ears.

"But Chels" she said, "The man eats crickets, spiders, fishing worms, and scorpions."

"I know" Chelsea swooned before adding, "And that's exactly why I find him to be so gosh darn attractive. The man definitely has got him a pair...a big pair."

That was about all that Carolina Chipotle could take. She politely told Handler that she had to leave because she had a pedicure appointment at FuFi Fondue's Haven of Hair Salon in Beverly Hills.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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