Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 21 December 2013

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Lindsay says that she wants to be the Cougar Queen of LaLaLand.

HOLLYWOOD - Lindsay Lohan says that she has actually traded two vices, drugs and alcohol for a third vice young men.

Lohan who has been doing pretty good since spending 3 months in a rehab clinic during the summer has been seen on both coasts cavorting with much younger men.

The 27-year-old actress appeared on The Wendy Williams Show and said that she is currently dating Bubba Saltarello, the 19-year-old nephew of Gary Busey.

She confessed that it feels great to do the sis-boom-bah with boy toys and she now sees why cougars like Jennifer Lopez, Sharon Stone, and Demi Moore always had a friggin smile on their faces.

Lindsay told Williams that her New Year's resolution is to become Hollywood's number one cougar.

She pointed out that unlike the three women she mentioned she does not have any cellulite, spider veins, stretch marks, blemishes, liver spots, or facial hair.

SIDENOTE: Lohan proudly said that the average age of the guys she's dated SR (since rehab) is 18.7.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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