Written by Auntie Jean
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Monday, 16 December 2013

Charismatic Scotchman, Andy Moray has won the coveted Steve Davis "Mr. Personality" award. The Ceremony took place in Leeds but Mr. Moray was committed to doing things in Miami.

"Thanks to the people who could be arsed to turn up. I didn't know I was going to win and its lovely and hot here in Florida. The English Sassenachs have supported me since I was a kid, making a lot of sacrifices for me. I couldn't have done it without you."

Of the public, he added: "I know sometimes I'm not really any kind of "personality" per sec but I've had a lot of pressure on me for a long time. I'm glad I managed to do it.

"No matter how excited I try to sound, my voice always sounds boring - that's just my voice. I'm sorry. I'm very excited right now. Thank you very much everyone. Its a strange trophy, it looks like something Indians eat their curries out of in Madras."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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