Written by Neil Levine
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Topics: White House, Party

Wednesday, 25 October 2006

image for Clinton Seeks To Keep The Party Going At White House
Party Central

Party Central (Where the Hot Tubs Are Really Hot)---We have been told that Bill Clinton is plotting a campaign to return to the White House. He intends to focus on issues he feels the Republicans have neglected or have unpopular positions on such as Prohibition.

At a closed door meeting with political intimates, he has informed his party bedfellows,"We can stretch the law to allow a little more hanky panky. A tad more partying. Let the licker flow like water. Personally I like to lick'er with some demon rum. It oils the wheels of government exceedingly well and makes politicians oh so more congenial. Especially when I get them drunk with power. Then it is easier to have my way and boy do I like my way."

He has further elaborated on this strategy at the meeting, "I have found a treasure chest of other issues the Republicans are weak on. Take interns. I realize that the tabloids are again making hay over the scandalous conduct of certain wayward Republicans. Perhaps we should look deeper into how qualified our interns are. On second thought, where has Representative Foley gone? Can I ask him for some personnel advice? Can?t we just look at this as an issue that needs to be addressed before it gets swept up in electoral controversy. Oh, forget about it. Have a cigar. That should hold you."

He has gone on to opine, "Then there are civil liberties. I am perfectly willing to take liberties so long as they are civil and no one cares. But on second thought if anyone cares we can keep a civil tongue, keep the liberty and take advantage of come what may and I mean come what may."

Clinton has concluded with, "Let me conclude by concluding my conclusion that Hillary will not run. The White House is too much work. Cooking. Cleaning. Fancy schmancy. You know what a balabuster that can be. But I can run in her place and make sure that no one leaves unsatisfied. Go team."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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