Written by ShepShepard
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Tuesday, 10 December 2013

image for Madonna cast in biggest acting role of her life, pretending she's still relevant
Madonna* NOT PHOTOSHOPPED

London, England - Acclaimed baby collector Madonna has released a statement via fax about her upcoming movie role, she will be playing an aging pop-star via twitter. While the plot of the film remains unclear, Madonna will be director, producer, actor, set decorator, and cue cards. No official word on weather or not she will be working with the assistance of an English accent.

UPDATE (6:40P EST): As more information has been released about the project it has become clear this is NOT an actual film. Madonna just be will be tweeting in the hopes that she remains culturally significant.

When reached for comment via twitter she wrote, "@THESPOOF how do I get this thing to work? 144 characters? Like 144 actors? I don't understand. Which way is the camera facing? Stop lookin." She continued, "g at me in the eyes, peasants. I'm better than all of you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Twitter has since exploded with negative feedback towards the artist.

UPDATE (7:10P EST): To avoid any further controversy, Madonna's twitter has been deleted by her publicists. They have released four 1980's previously unseen nude photos in attempt to "pacify the masses". Rolling Stone magazine immediately uploaded the photos to their official website under the headline, "Lady Gaga is naked again. Again."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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