Written by Jaggedone
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Monday, 9 December 2013

image for Susan Boyle has Asparagus disease!
Doctors advise Boyle to eat celery not asparagus!

Susan Boyle has been diagnosed with a very rare disease which only occurs in the merry month of May and disappears in July when the asparagus season is over.

She discovered the disease whilst walking alongside fields of Asparagus that were being poked by Polish workers and it seems that just by watching the workers bend over in the midday sun (not in England) caused her nose to run, watering eyes, a sore throat and a poignant smell whilst letting water.

Although she loves eating asparagus, the disease has put her off so she has gone back to eating haggis and potatoes without asparagus. During bouts of the disease she cancels all of her concerts and those who do not quite enjoy her voluptious singing talents have asked the asparagus producing farmres to extend the season so they can have more time to get over Boyles Syndrome!

More as we poke it...not fun...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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