Written by KendoMonkey
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Tuesday, 24 October 2006

image for Gandalf bored with beard - tries for sideburns
Facial hair...where will it end?!

Gandalf, beloved wizard and astrologer, has announced today in Cosmopolitan Wizz magazine, that he is attempting to grow some "wicked sideburns". In the article, the one some call Mithrandir, said:

"It's all about what's cool these days. I'm no longer cool, my clothes look like they've been used in an advert for Persil and even though I've lost all my grey clothes, I still look like I sleep on a park bench at nights.

"So, I've finally decided: I'm going to take off the beard and go with some wicked sideburns instead."

Gandalf continues is an enthusiastic manner:

"I'm thinking that maybe I could shave them to look like the tongues of snakes, or possibly go for the lambchop sideburns approach. It's not a decision a wizard makes lightly."

The Wizard's Council has declared Gandalf's statements as "folly" and that "a wizard without a beard is like a good-quote without a simile". Indeed, rival magazine to Cosmopolitan Wizz, Wizard Weekly, have declared this year to be the "Year of the Beard", and Gandalf was set to appear as centrefold in an upcoming issue.

We here at The Spoof are unsure as to whether a beard is cool or not. Please help us by voting below:

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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