Written by Auntie Jean
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Sunday, 1 December 2013

image for Kevin Bacon to alter his name
A large white pig which is kept as a family pet.

The film star formerly known as Kevin Bacon announced yesterday that he wishes to be known as Kevin Rib of Beef.

He said "After I chat to hungry people, for instance in New York, they promptly disappear and come back munching a NYC special bacon sandwich comprising 6 rashers of prime hickory smoked bacon, 2 fried eggs in a freshly baked fluffy white roll topped with salad and maple syrup".

I am thinking of buying a Pot Bellied Pig as a house pet and it might upset the pig to sit in the middle of people munching bacon related food.

The pig is going to be called the same name as me so that if it gets lost it will be easier for the police to trace it. The problem is I suppose that if its name is Pig Rib of Beef Bacon it might get ordered as a meal when we are drunk, and my personal Chef will kill it and serve it up on the dinner table in minutes with a fantastic sauce.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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