He no longer loves New York, after learning that his show, "Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark," will be closing in January (it hasn't been packing 'em in at the box office).
"What I can't figure out," a perplexed Spider-Man has told friends, "is that I love New York slogan. Who believes that bunk?" Pretending it was HIS idea to leave NY, the ultra-confident Spider-Man said, "I'm outta here and on to greener pastures."
New Yorkers are disgusted by Spider-Man's rude behavior. To get back at him, on the sneak they have tampered with his trusty web and knotted it up beyond repair so it's just about unusable. In addition, they've secretly put extra nips and tucks in his clothes, making his already skintight attire even more so. In short, he's busting out all over, and it ain't pretty.
Enemies of Spider-Man are glad he's being evicted from New York, but little do they know that he's headed for his next triumph. Plans are underway for him to open his show at a venue in Las Vegas, probably in 2015.
His supporters are betting that he's not down for the count yet. And
you can take that to the bank, they say.