Written by Abel Rodriguez

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Thursday, 21 November 2013

image for The Erotically Sultry Heidi Klum Rejects Her Bodyguard's Proposal
Heidi Klum is one of the best looking cougars in LaLaLand. (Photo provided by Rico Chorizo).

HOLLYWOOD - Heidi Klum is certainly one 40-year-old woman who has aged quite gracefully.

The German native says that she has enjoyed her freedom after divorcing singer Seal.

Klum fearing that thousands of men would be after her decided to hire one of the best bodyguards in the bodyguarding business; Martin Kristen.

Kristen did an excellent job of protecting Klum's lusciously erotic body; so good in fact that Heidi actually let him sample that amazing body.

Needless to say Martin became the happiest bodyguard in the business. He was the envy of every other bodyguard in Tinsel Town.

According to an insider, Martin truly believed that Klum had fallen madly in love with him. He confused her appreciation of his professional job with a physical desire for him on a personal level.

But Mr. Kristen was wrong. But still, he decided to propose to Ms. Klum, who has four children and is worth $70 million.

Klum shot her bodyguard down (no pun intended). Martin was devastated. He actually felt that he could be the new Mr. Heidi Klum.

Comedian Kathy Griffin probably said it best when she said that Heidi Klum will never ever marry again because basically she is married to herself.

The red headed comic, who is noted for her rattlesnake-like tongue, remarked that there is no one who could ever compete for the affections of Heidi Klum better than Heidi Klum can.

In Other News. Reports are that Toronto's crack-smoking, alcohol-drinking mayor, Rob Ford has been offered asylum in the African country of Lower Zamgola.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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